Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:37:43 AM)
(This user has entered Good story) (IP = 24.8.112.48)
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:37:45 AM)
(This user has entered Good story) (IP = 118.210.221.191)
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 3:37:45 AM)
(This user has entered Good story) (IP = 118.210.206.65)
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 3:37:50 AM)
(This user has entered Good story) (IP = 68.113.85.43)
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:37:57 AM)
Tell me story Aunty Das!
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 3:38:04 AM)
apparently you should have just stayed in the ooc
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 3:38:05 AM)
lol
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:38:12 AM)
Ha! :D
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 3:38:16 AM)
*pulls up a cushion and a blankey*
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:38:17 AM)
Okay, so this one's from my father in lw.. but he is Not the star. It's his best friend from Spec Forces who actually pulled this one.
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:38:27 AM)
*gasp!*
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:38:34 AM)
A friend of a friend!
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:38:45 AM)
We'll call this guy Steve. *chuckles*
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:39:04 AM)
Steve is a bit of a paranoid. Working 20 years in spec forces does that to a guy.
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 3:39:11 AM)
*nod*
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 3:39:38 AM)
hey i'm steve!
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:39:45 AM)
Steve is in Berlin, in a hotel that faces the Wall, and Steve is -convinced- that the guys in the East German guard tower are watching him in his room with their binoculars.
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:40:10 AM)
Prolly were, boring shifts.
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:40:22 AM)
because they were.
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:40:23 AM)
Steve's boss, tells him he's nuts. SO Steve cooks up a plot.
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:40:48 AM)
Is this an "I love Lucy"-esque plot? :D
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 3:40:54 AM)
sounds like it
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:40:55 AM)
He gets a buddy of his in on it..and this is what happens.
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:41:50 AM)
*dramatic pause*
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:42:12 AM)
Both dressed in all black, facepaint and all, dash into the lit room with the curtains thrown wide. Steve takes a knee and holds a cardboard tube covered in electrical tape up on his shoulder. The other loads a painted green popcan into the back end of the tube, slaps Steve's shoulder and hits the floor.
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:42:24 AM)
And two East German guards jump out of their tower.
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:42:39 AM)
lol
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:42:43 AM)
That...is awesome.
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:42:53 AM)
Fall 30-40 ft. And hit concrete. Broken bones all over.
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:42:56 AM)
And then Ricadro comes in and says: "Sttteevveeee! You got some SPLAIN'N tooo dooo"
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:43:09 AM)
Serves 'em right for being east German.
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 3:43:12 AM)
dude thats the best story ever, nothing I have compares to that
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:43:37 AM)
Both Steve and his buddy are banned from the East and West , for Life.
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:43:42 AM)
This story seems highly unlikley, but regardless, amazingly hilarious.
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 3:43:51 AM)
lol
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:44:01 AM)
I have seen photos of Steve. lol He at least, exists.
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:44:02 AM)
But now that there's no more east or west, are they forgiven?
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:44:13 AM)
LOL
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:44:15 AM)
And managed to go an entire military career without ever making it past Sergeant.
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:44:19 AM)
Oohh, nice loophole, Antonie!
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 3:44:26 AM)
I dunno Mik, the more highly unlikely a story is, the more it seems to be true when it comes to military
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:44:52 AM)
Trust me. I have one or two that rate as "really?"
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:44:53 AM)
Ant, no clue. lol But yeah.. you have to screw up spectacularly on a regular basis to retire after 30 years as a Staff Sergeant in Spec Ops.
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:45:16 AM)
I think causing an international incident qualifies.
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:45:17 AM)
Maybe he was just really bad at it? ;)
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 3:46:01 AM)
yes
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 3:46:09 AM)
though he probably had made it past that rank
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 3:46:12 AM)
and just lost it
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 3:46:14 AM)
a lot
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:46:19 AM)
Repeatedly Azu. *chuckles* But there you go.
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:46:22 AM)
Being really bad at army special forces...uhm...I think that makes you a marine.
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:46:28 AM)
>.>
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:46:34 AM)
No.. it usually promotes you to a pine box.
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:46:47 AM)
See "marine".
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:46:49 AM)
:D
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:46:51 AM)
And he was USAF.
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 3:47:05 AM)
that sounds like a AF story
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:47:10 AM)
Oh, no I really can't comment.
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:47:36 AM)
The only other Steve story I've heard is in England.
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:47:51 AM)
He get kicked outta England?
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:48:05 AM)
No. Thankfully. But he got my father-in-law's ass kicked.
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 3:48:06 AM)
man, guy really must just wanna always live in the states
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:48:28 AM)
Dad-in-law is Dennis.
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:48:31 AM)
Maybe it's a deep, psychological thing?
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:48:46 AM)
I think it might be a special forces thing.
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:49:30 AM)
So Dennis and Steve are drinking in half a dozen pubs in London..and by the time the pubs close up, they are well and truly shitfaced.
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:49:53 AM)
Steve wants to steal a Bobby's hat.
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:50:06 AM)
...
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:50:17 AM)
Dennis is drunk enough to think this is funny, and the two find a lone Bobby down a street.
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 3:50:39 AM)
...
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:50:40 AM)
Now for the record.. this is back when all a Bobby carried is a nightstick and a whistle.
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:51:25 AM)
So they could get away with this madcap plan. In theory.
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:51:27 AM)
Dennis runs past the guy and Steve comes up right behind him, snags the hat while he's watching Dennis..and both tear off down the road like a bat outta hell. Well, like two really drunk Spec Ops guys.
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:51:49 AM)
Don't cops travle in pairs?
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:52:34 AM)
Nope. They didn't then and there. But that's what the whistle's for. Bobby takes off in hot pursuit, blowing the whistle like an air raid siren..and Bobbies start showing up like cockroaches for a free meal.
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:52:35 AM)
Only in the realllllly sketchy areas. I think a nightstick-and-whistle brit cop would be solo.
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:52:46 AM)
lol
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:53:52 AM)
Steve, the slightly less drunk one, believe it or no: Suggests they split up. And as they both cut different directions..he tosses the hat, to Dennis..in full view of the chasing Brits.
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:54:37 AM)
Dennis: "Oh you asshole."
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:55:11 AM)
Dennis, looks from the hat, to the guys behind him.. realizes he's fucked. He tosses the hat straight up in the air and curls into a ball to take his shots. ANd take them he does. lol The whole crowd of them come in swinging and kicking at him for a solid 5 minutes before they drag him to a hospital.
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:55:34 AM)
Wow... They REALLY wanted that hat!
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:56:18 AM)
Respect the bobbies, or name your beneficiaries.
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:56:44 AM)
Yeah, I thought this was hilarious when I heard it, cuz my parents lived in England for several years..and always told me the most dangerous piece of a cop's equipment was his radio. Because of the bobbies and their whistles. lol
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 3:57:07 AM)
well, they did start it
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 3:57:12 AM)
the bobbies just finished it
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:57:12 AM)
They did.
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:57:31 AM)
With prejudice.
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 3:57:47 AM)
Anyhoo, I has no more Steve stories. ^_^ Anyone else want to tell one?
Tyler Smith (Mar 3, 2011 3:57:56 AM)
(This user has entered Good story) (IP = 72.24.116.201)
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 3:58:01 AM)
*waves at Tyler*
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:58:15 AM)
I want to tell the story of a young man named Tyler who was experimenting with his sexuali.... Oh, never mind.
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:58:21 AM)
*Whispers* Pretend we were talking about baseball!
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 3:58:31 AM)
well i have a story about how i accidently cus off part of my penis... but its not very interesting
Tyler Smith (Mar 3, 2011 3:58:41 AM)
There is no experiment involved with Tyler's sexuality.
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:58:51 AM)
That does sound boring... Almost as boring as the pictures I'd like to see of this event. *Strokes his chin*
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:59:12 AM)
Gain a temp banality for not being imaginative with your sexuality, Tyler!!
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 3:59:19 AM)
*raise hand* Army story?
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 3:59:37 AM)
Go!
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 3:59:41 AM)
*nod* do it
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 4:00:15 AM)
*hands Ant the mic*
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 4:00:36 AM)
Okay, so no shit, this happened. (Note: this is the precursor to 50% of all really great army stories. the other 50% start with "We got drunk and then...")
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 4:01:03 AM)
((It's true!))
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 4:01:13 AM)
I also concur
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 4:01:30 AM)
I'm drunk right now!
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 4:02:14 AM)
I bet you say that often Mik... ;)
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 4:02:37 AM)
:(
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 4:02:45 AM)
Somtimes I can't say it for being too drunk.
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 4:02:50 AM)
So Ant was a clerk in the army. Being a clerk, he had to be trained as a clerk. Part of that training including a 1-week trip into the woods to play army clerk in the woods. So it was Friday morning in Virginia. a nice summer day, me and my squad's getting our shit together and making sure we're all neat and clean because Monday morning, we go camping.
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 4:02:56 AM)
sounds Australian ;)
Rapideshu OOC (Mar 3, 2011 4:03:12 AM)
(This user has entered Good story) (IP = 85.81.105.140)
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 4:03:41 AM)
Hey! I resemble that remark, Azu!!
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 4:05:04 AM)
So Friday morning, one of the people who was about 3 or 4 weeks behind us asks if we need anything. Eager beaver, smart but naive. I tossed off one of those impossible things like "a dozen chemlight batteries", not even really thinking about it.
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 4:05:22 AM)
*snerk*
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 4:05:31 AM)
... Batteries... For a Chemical Light?
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 4:05:40 AM)
Exactly.
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 4:05:46 AM)
Trust me..Privates will look for Hours.
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 4:05:50 AM)
LOL
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 4:05:59 AM)
Now here's where it gets jacked up.
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 4:06:10 AM)
Wow... The miliarty: Hiring people who don't know what Chem is short for Chemical since 2001
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 4:06:14 AM)
He found some?
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 4:06:23 AM)
BETTER,
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 4:06:26 AM)
lol
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 4:08:53 AM)
Now, to reiterate here, dude was going to be a supply dude, just like us. He goes to our supply sergeant. Asks for the dozen chemlight batteries (I'll say it was chemlight batteries.) Supply sergeant says "Go to A company, I think they got some - we're not getting any until monday." Calls to A company. A company sends him up to battalion HQ. Battalion HQ send him to Brigade, where they have no sense of humor.
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 4:09:24 AM)
LOL
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 4:09:42 AM)
It's good to know that everyone loves a joke right up until the last moment.
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 4:10:29 AM)
Brigade goes "Who told you to go find chemlight batteries?" 'Why, Private Ant sent me here...' 3 hours after the initial joke, Private Antoine gets called into the CO's office.
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 4:12:15 AM)
CO: "Private Antoine, did you reallly.." Private Antoine: "Uh....yeah. What happened." Private Antoines' eye got huge when he found out just what had happened. I think I may have peed a little, because I assumed that the supply sergeant was not so humorously inclined.
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 4:13:36 AM)
I've got to say, if I was in charge and I heard that a guy spent that long looking for a battery for a light that is created by a chemical reaction, I'd be chewing out the looker, not the sender. Sender would get: "Don't rizz the new guys too hard, you jerk" and new guy would get "this is a letter recommending you for the local preschool, which I'll be asking you to attend until your knowladge of basic maths, chemistry and english is up to a par where you don't spend a day and a half trying to get 12 bottles of Head Light Fluid."
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 4:14:28 AM)
So, Antoine was in a coed unit. CO asked private antoine if indeed he was seeing a girl. Antoine responded in the affirmative. Private Antoine was presented with a 2.5 day pass for himself and his girlfriend, and told that he would be in highly deep shit if he was anywhere near the company area until sunday night.
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 4:14:31 AM)
eh hazing people is military history. We used to convince new people to the dorms they had to exchange their mattress with their other linens
Rapideshu OOC (Mar 3, 2011 4:14:56 AM)
*salutes and vanishes*
Rapideshu OOC (Mar 3, 2011 4:14:58 AM)
(This user has left DigiChat) (IP = 85.81.105.140)
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 4:15:03 AM)
lol
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 4:15:04 AM)
thats pretty awesome Ant.
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 4:15:12 AM)
*laughs*
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 4:15:36 AM)
It was a good weekend. >.>
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 4:15:59 AM)
time for eats. Much love!
Mikhail Poleski (Mar 3, 2011 4:16:04 AM)
(This user has left DigiChat) (IP = 118.210.221.191)
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 4:16:05 AM)
Later Mik
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 4:17:56 AM)
Azu, your turn!
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 4:18:07 AM)
aw none of my are nearly as funny...
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 4:19:15 AM)
oh I have one
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 4:19:33 AM)
So, this isn't me, it's my step dad. It was back when he joined the marines.
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 4:20:16 AM)
Kk
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 4:20:58 AM)
It's fairly short but it still makes me laugh. They're getting off the bus and lining up for their first getting screamed at by the Drill Sgts.
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 4:21:23 AM)
One walks up to my step dad, gets in his face and goes; 'I slept with your mother last night, how does that make you feel?'
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 4:21:45 AM)
without missing a beat my step dad goes; "with all due respect sir, my mother's been dead for 10 years so I hope you had a good time."
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 4:22:03 AM)
and that particular guy pretty much left him alone after that
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 4:22:15 AM)
Yay!
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 4:22:27 AM)
Win.
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 4:22:34 AM)
heh
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 4:22:48 AM)
i have a similar story but its not as nice
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 4:23:56 AM)
Go for it! Jordan's up. ^_^
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 4:25:19 AM)
well its not about the military, but i was at a party and this guy was being a superdouche... bullying and being a general cockface... so I start pushing his buttons to be an ass... we exchange a few words and i throw out a yeah well i fucked your mom...
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 4:25:44 AM)
he gets very someber and says "look man my mom's dead, that shit's now funny"
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 4:26:31 AM)
and i say "yeah I know... i'm not kidding man... i dug that bitch up! I'm a kikny motherfucker! worms and everything!" needless to say he wanted to kill me after that ...
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 4:28:13 AM)
..
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 4:28:24 AM)
i told you it wasnt nice...
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 4:28:26 AM)
haha
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 4:28:26 AM)
You're right hon.
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 4:28:50 AM)
in my defence i really really hate bullies
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 4:29:07 AM)
*shakes her head* Tyler, you gonna add a story or should we all go back to OOC? lol
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 4:29:12 AM)
lol
Tyler Smith (Mar 3, 2011 4:29:16 AM)
Ahh, swimming in awkward.
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 4:29:25 AM)
*bows* ty ty
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 4:29:32 AM)
*noogies Jordan*
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 4:29:43 AM)
ok want a funnier bit of a story?
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 4:29:50 AM)
>.>
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 4:29:59 AM)
me and a friend were tripping on shrooms and on the beach whenwe saw a lion...
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 4:30:19 AM)
so like idiots we go to check the lion out... and hover over it....
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 4:31:14 AM)
turns out to be a couple having sex under a tan and brown blanket, when the guy looks up and say what the fuck? I say oh shit sorry dude we totally thought you were a lion... they were both really oncfused and we left
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 4:32:45 AM)
*chuckles*
Tyler Smith (Mar 3, 2011 4:33:05 AM)
Does the story have to be G-rated? I almost cold cocked one of my friends w/benefits once.
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 4:33:38 AM)
I don't think there was any rule about that. Though.. I gotta hit the forums.
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 4:33:41 AM)
That doesn't sound like a great benefit...
Tyler Smith (Mar 3, 2011 4:33:55 AM)
we're not in the foyer.
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 4:34:04 AM)
sounds like a bad benefit
Dastai (Mar 3, 2011 4:34:11 AM)
(This user has moved to OOC Room) (IP = 79.209.83.93)
Azu Ongokos (Mar 3, 2011 4:34:24 AM)
(This user has moved to OOC Room) (IP = 118.210.206.65)
Tyler Smith (Mar 3, 2011 4:34:31 AM)
*laughs* well, the story is a little complicated than that
Antoine Bourque (Mar 3, 2011 4:52:13 AM)
(This user has left DigiChat) (IP = 24.8.112.48)
Tyler Smith (Mar 3, 2011 5:00:36 AM)
(This user has left DigiChat) (IP = 72.24.116.201)
Jordan Malave (Mar 3, 2011 5:02:58 AM)
(This user has left DigiChat) (IP = 68.113.85.43)