Xaiver Myrick (Mar 30, 2011 10:41:11 PM)
(This user has entered In the dojo) (IP = 76.16.206.239)

Anastasia Montrose (Mar 30, 2011 10:41:36 PM)
(This user has entered In the dojo) (IP = 174.253.115.60)

Anastasia Montrose (Mar 30, 2011 10:41:49 PM)
(I now was talking Johny)

Xaiver Myrick (Mar 30, 2011 10:45:40 PM)
*X entered the dojo and went to the locker with the guitar.....He put the strap over his shoulder and began to play.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNpT81BS3PY ......When he finished he smash the guitar off a bench destroying it....As he lost it the tears starting to flow again.*

Anastasia Montrose (Mar 30, 2011 10:48:05 PM)
(omg old school.wow..*feels REALLY old*)*she sighed softly as she listend to him play then watching him smashing his guitar..She walked up to him reaching up wiping the tears away*Baby *said softly* Do not blame yourself..You did nothing wrong....

Xaiver Myrick (Mar 30, 2011 10:49:30 PM)
Tell me I'm not evil Ana....tell me what I did was right....Tell me the kids better off then living the life he was living....Give me something to believe in....*As he fought back the tears to no avail.*

Xaiver Myrick (Mar 30, 2011 10:49:36 PM)
(like that did ya.)

Anastasia Montrose (Mar 30, 2011 10:53:23 PM)
(oh shut it)You are not evil by no means,love...And you did do what was right,what if you had children in here and that had happend think of it like that,thakfully you did not....You do not know what he did before he came in here to rob you with a gun,how many people did he kill or seriously hurt with that gun?....I will say Iam certain many people are better off without that indivdual living yes.....I believe in you,Xavier with all my heart....*she continued to wipe the tears that fell from his eyes*..You must stop crying my love...

Xaiver Myrick (Mar 30, 2011 10:58:53 PM)
*X looked at her and for a breif moment he thought she was right.*...I can't Ana....What I did was kill a kid...The ones I do everything in my power to protect....The ones I built this place for....How can I forgive that.....How can I feel what I did was right when it hurts so very much....*As another tear ran down his cheek..*

Anastasia Montrose (Mar 30, 2011 11:02:49 PM)
*looking up at him*You need too*wiping the tear away*...You can and you will...You built this place to keep kids off the streets,to keep them from being like the one that robbed you..Did you not?....Think of it like this..If people had been around to care what happened to the one that robbed you perhaps he would have turned out differntly..This is what you are trying to do...Let what happend be a guide to yourself on how to prevent this from happenign to others...Work to better the lives of the children around here,for if you are not who will?

Xaiver Myrick (Mar 30, 2011 11:05:46 PM)
*X pulled her close and kissed her deeply.*.....Thank You.....Thank you for loving me even when I don't love myself......*As he kinda smirked.*...Ya know Mensonge said the same thing pretty much......*As he grimiced and closed his eyes.*....And I know what you say to be true...I just can't get myself to believe it.

Anastasia Montrose (Mar 30, 2011 11:10:15 PM)
*wrapping her arms around him holding him close as they kissed*..You are welcome,my love..I will always love you,no matter what*that made her smirk*..Iam glad to know he and I are on the same page*smiling up at him a bit*..You can feel what I say is true,and yes it will take you sometime..But you are strong,you will overcome believe in what I say..*raising to her tip toes,kissing him passionatly*

Xaiver Myrick (Mar 30, 2011 11:13:26 PM)
*X felt better just being in her arms as he kissed her back.*.....Thank you....*As he smiled slightly....you could tell it was forced.*.....You know you and my friends keep telling me these things I might actually begin to believe the hype.

Anastasia Montrose (Mar 30, 2011 11:15:09 PM)
*looking into his eyes*And I know when you are making up a smile,and that is made up....*it was then that she lighlty touched the bullet holes with her finger tips*..You are my sword,that in itself makes you strong..

Xaiver Myrick (Mar 30, 2011 11:17:53 PM)
*X watched her touch the holes then looked to her.*....Your sword is broken right now dear.....and I don't know if it'll ever be unbroken again.

Anastasia Montrose (Mar 30, 2011 11:19:13 PM)
*she contineud to let her fingers lighlty touch his skin*My sword is not broken for he stands before me....

Xaiver Myrick (Mar 30, 2011 11:20:57 PM)
*That made him genuily smile to her.*....So it would seem....But you of all people know there is more then meets the eye to things.

Anastasia Montrose (Mar 30, 2011 11:22:48 PM)
*smiling up at him*..Speak of not such things for they are untrue,my love...Ah,yes I do know this very well indeed...But,I also know that when it comes to you...You are not broken,you will over come from this and you will be stronger for it..

Anastasia Montrose (Mar 30, 2011 11:23:12 PM)
For if you leave this world*pausing only slightly*I shall follow you...

Xaiver Myrick (Mar 30, 2011 11:24:20 PM)
*X pulled her close and hugged her...He didn't say a word he didn't need to....The way he held her would say it all.*

Anastasia Montrose (Mar 30, 2011 11:25:18 PM)
*wrapping her arms around him,holding him close to her feeling completely safe in his arms* i love you..

Xaiver Myrick (Mar 30, 2011 11:29:07 PM)
*He smiled.*....I love you to....*As he stepped back his hands still at her waist.*...I have a lot of work to do...I better get to it or the kids will never have a place to go.....*As he kissed her forehead and stepped away...He paused a few steps away from her and glanced at the dummie a few feet away....He turned walking up to it he drew back to punch it......He seemed frozen in time as he failed to pull the trigger...dropping his hand and his head he turned...Shaking his hanging head as he walked out of the dojo and headed back up front.*

Anastasia Montrose (Mar 30, 2011 11:32:33 PM)
*nodding her head with a smile as she looked up at him*Yes,indeed8then she watched him walk up to the dummy and start to punch it then stop..shook his head and walkd away*Do not rush things my love..And do not hang your head thusly..*as she turnd and followed him back up front*

Xaiver Myrick (Mar 30, 2011 11:35:31 PM)
*Softly he spoke.*...I can't pull the trigger...I've never not been able to pull the trigger even when I killed the Sabbat traitor I was engaged to...I never hesitated....*As he closed his eyes.*......But now I can't.....I can see myself doing it...I can see the result...I just can actually do it.

Xaiver Myrick (Mar 30, 2011 11:38:12 PM)
(can't do it.)

Anastasia Montrose (Mar 30, 2011 11:39:00 PM)
*moving to stand by his side*...You can and will in time...*taking his hand into hers giving a gentle reassuring squeeze* You can not let yourself be sucked into "the cant" for if you do,you will see those you care about fall before your eyes...I do not say those thigns to be hurtful,I merely speak the truth..

Xaiver Myrick (Mar 30, 2011 11:41:27 PM)
*He forced a smile.*...I know and I appreciate it....I just have to get through this somehow...I have to find a way to get the...*As he paused forcing the word from his mouth.*...Killer instinct back.

Anastasia Montrose (Mar 30, 2011 11:43:22 PM)
*she frowned up at him*Do not force such a thing,Mister man it is not becoming of your*smiling up at him*...I have faith that you will get through this,you are stronger than you give yourself credit for...And you do not need to bring the killer instinct back,but you do not need to supress your trueself either...Hesitation will lead to the loss of your life or others....And if I lose you,I am uncertain if I myself could or would go on..

Xaiver Myrick (Mar 30, 2011 11:46:28 PM)
I've just lost so much in the last year Ana...I'm beat down.....I have put on the brave face and acted like it didn't bother me..like I was un scathed...But honestly....*As he shook his head.*...I'm tired...I have been the hero for so long I don't know how to not try and save everyone.....Cause I've always been the one to do it.

Anastasia Montrose (Mar 30, 2011 11:49:24 PM)
You have also gained much have you forgotten this?*giving him a curious look*...Then be who are not what others expect you to be...*lifting his hand to her lips,kissing his knuckles*.There are many other ways of being a hero than with weapons..

Xaiver Myrick (Mar 30, 2011 11:55:22 PM)
Then I wouldn't be myself.....*As he sighed....the world was crashing in and X had seen first hand what can happen when that takes place...He had to find a way to reverse it...to get that spark back...To again be him.....As he looked to her.*.....I have gained much indeed I do not forget this.....I have friends and...*As he looked to her.*....I have you.....the best thing that ever happened to me....*He kissed her forehead.*.....Thank you baby for being here for me...for sharing your life with me....it has made mine that much better.